Random act of kindness, part 4: The Return

Wednesday, September 29, 2004 04:28 PM

Previously on Random acts of kindness: search engines exhibit cruel and unusual behavior by pointing misguided souls to this page.

First, let me just say that Cute Names Disorder is far more serious a problem than I could ever imagine. In addition to the usual searches, I now seem to get requests for "cute partner names", "cute names to call each other", and even "cute names for couples to call each other." CND even spreads into the electronic world, with a request for "cute computer names." I'm not sure how to respond to that, but "seek professional help" comes to mind.

Moving on:

"Borland Diamondback picture"

Well, I can do better than that: moving pictures. It's the next big thing, you know. Here are two BDNtv episodes showing Diamondback:

• Diamondback preview of Data Remoting - presented by Jason Vokes.
• Diamondback sneak peek - a 15-minute movie showing some of the cool stuff coming in the next version of Delphi, presented by John Kaster. John also stars in the next request:

"John Kaster's picture"

Fine, as long as you don't use it to scare little children. Full size image (don't know why you'd need one, but at this point I'm not about to ask) can be found here.

By the way, John and his lovely wife and daughter had most of TeamB in their house last week, after BorCon. Unfortunately for me, I couldn't stay because I'm allergic to cats. The reason I'm boring you with this pointless little story is the following search phrase:

"Random cats of kindness"

Looking back, I guess I had it coming. While I can't really provide any useful information about this (as if that ever stopped me), I would like to point out that this could be a good name for a rock band.

"Allen's gummy bears"

That's right. Apparently, after looking for his gummy bears in the usual places (pockets, the kitchen, under the sofa), Allen decided to expand the search to the virtual realm. Google, who probably ate all of them, cleverly covered its tracks by returning my page in its search results (the electronic equivalent of the cunning "Hey! Look behind you" defense).

"Pronounce Yggdrasil"

I just did. Now you jump on one leg and make funny noises.

"Malcolm X window AK-47"

OK, looks like it's time to stop before someone gets hurt.